I Am Rebecca

Tuesday, March 28th, 2023, was one year since I told the board I was willing to move to Bedford to teach. I remember them asking in my interview if moving so far from my family and support group would be difficult for me. I told them that I’d already done it once, and that I was confident the Lord would help me if He was calling me to Bedford.   So much has happened in a year. So many friends made, challenges faced, tears cried, so much counseling sought... but this year mark is a monument of God’s grace in my life.  Our Heavenly Father faithfully keeps His children.  He holds us fast and gives us victory through the blood.  He knows our fears, our pain, and our questions.  And He is ever-present in the midst of the fire. I didn’t expect my year-mark to be a day filled with such sorrow and turmoil.  A day of celebration turned to a day of uncertainty as the news was delivered, first that my pastor’s family was moving (as in, that very day), and that the pri...

“Do you think going to the altar is scary?”  I asked my students one Wednesday morning as we were preparing for revival. “I don’t like people watching me.  It makes me nervous,” one of the boys volunteered. “I feel better when I go to the altar!” said another. One girl just stared at me and shook her head, wide-eyed. My favorite response was from one of my first-grade boys.  “Going to the altar isn’t scary because when Jesus meets me there, I feel safe.”  My heart melted at that one. But one boy raised his hand.  “Miss Kruse, what is an altar?” He genuinely had no idea.  So I lined the classroom up and we took a field trip over to the church.  I had them all sit on the front pew of the church and we talked about why we go to the altar.  “How are you supposed to kneel at it?” The child asked.  I explained that it didn’t matter how you knelt, as long as you were there with an attitude of being willing to obey Jesus.   When we were done tal...

One of my girls has been doing her best to serve Jesus, and has truly been transformed this school year.  She took the step of baptism and gave a public testimony of her love for the Lord.  But the child also has very little impulse control. . . And it has been her downfall at times. One blessed Thursday afternoon, during a recess period, two of my boys ran up to me to tell me that one of the girls punched them.  After a short conversation with them, I called the girl over to talk to hear what she had to say.  As she ran towards me, she yelled, “They started it!” Guilty.  Absolutely.  She was sentenced accordingly, the situation was resolved, and I moved on.  The next day, something about her was off.  She was distracted and her papers reflected her disengagement with the lessons.  I had an assistant in the classroom that day, which allowed me to take some extra time to sit and talk to my student. I asked her some questions in an effort to se...

A spiritual foe stands before me, shaking his weapon and challenging me to fight. I will not engage in the battle.  He spews lies into my ears with an intent to destroy my faith.  I will not reply: there will be no discussion. I have no reason whatsoever to participate in the fights that Satan tries to pick with me. Victory was already purchased when Jesus Christ shed His blood on Calvary.  When Christ died, He made victory possible, and He claimed it for Himself, once and for all.   Because of this there is no need for me to struggle.  I don’t need to debate with the devil:  the rebuttal, the winning argument, is the Blood.  There is no need for me to fight the devil for spiritual ground:  the ground was already conquered by Jesus.  I don’t plead for victory to be given to me:  I side with the One who is already named The Victor, and claim the victory through Him. I used to face temptation and barely have a hope of encountering it. ...

One thing that I’ve wrestled with being called somewhere in the United States is that the USA is reached. Yes, America has a need for solid holiness teaching.  Yes, America has lost many of the values it once held.  But while America has spiritual needs, most Americans have held the truth in their hands and have chosen to reject it.  Most of us Americans cannot even get to our own church on Sunday without passing at least another church — many of us pass several churches.  If someone truly wants the truth in America, they can find it.  The resources are at our fingertips:  in books, in churches, on websites, and ultimately, in the Word of God itself, which is available freely to us online, on mobile apps, and in print.  America has been reached with the Gospel.  Meanwhile, there are millions of people across the world who are unreached.  People who have never even seen a church building.  Who have never seen a copy of God’s Word.  W...

This evening, I’m driving through an area that is warning of “severe thunderstorms.”  Although it’s not yet sunset, clouds are darkening the skies, and a grim shadow is falling over my path.  The worst of the storm, a wall of eery black clouds, is still looming in the distance.  Yet in the wall of black, there is an archway of blue sky and glorious sunlight.  The clouds appear to be pressing in on either side, and black clouds stand above it.  Yet that little spot in the black wall of storm is utter sunshine, seemingly untouched by the storm. All of us have at times, storms in our life.  They surround us, and times seem to engulf us.  The clouds threaten to break loose with driving rain at any moment, and the sky groans menacingly.  But while the storm may surround and seem to overwhelm us, we can dwell in that place of pure sunshine.  It may rain.  It may thunder.  But in the storm we can dwell in a place of peace and safety: a pla...

 In Cultural Diversity class this semester, we talked about handling culture shock.  One of the things I learned was that it’s important to use available resources for support and help.  This involves humbling yourself and acknowledging that while you want to minister to others, you have a lot that you can learn from others as well.  This week, I have been reminding myself to use the resources around me, which has been humbling but has also allowed me to start building relationships with the people around me.   I keenly sensed my own inadequacy, and a real need for help on Tuesday while attempting to assemble a bed.  It was from Amazon, and was one of those build-it-yourself things that arrives in dozens of pieces.  You know what I’m talking about — the kind of furniture that comes with a picture-book instruction manual that should be readable by a child, but really requires a peep stone or six months of language school to use (Satterfield, Text-Messag...